Alone with God
For God alone my soul awaits in silence
The essence of a relationship is what happens when we close our front door. We may be supported by social conventions of expected behaviour and by ritual; but what matters, ultimately, is what we bring in vulnerability to the beloved.
This aspect of prayer is the one which gives most people most difficulty and was the trigger for this course; but the central problem, similar to that which we experience in erotic love, is that we are led both to expect too much too soon and to expect that what we experience will correspond with some general expectation. We are snared by a spurious 'gold standard'. So let us imagine ourselves as fresh, young lovers, looking at the adult world for the first time.
If we return to the initial position of the lover and follow the usual - but by no means only - steps, we will not go far wrong.
1. Place & Time
Thinking about the beloved is not something we would only undertake casually, satisfied with the odd thought passing in and out of our consciousness; we want to concentrate on savouring the essence of the beloved, according it reverence and thinking of how we can combine our essence with it to further the relationship.
We frequently associate thoughts with places and times. So it is with prayer:
- Place. It is helpful to find a place where we can pray in a condition as near to peace as is possible. In our contemporary, noisy world, complete silence is usually quite difficult, so work out what level and kind of noise your prayer can withstand, eg some people can manage background music but some cannot; some people do not mind the occasional interruption. We must be clear with those with whom we share space what our minimum requirements are so that they can be negotiated; the clearer we are, the better. We might also want to collect a few objects near our regular place of prayer such as a few books, a favourite picture, a small statue or a piece of stone. Finally, it is not possible, in spite of a massive, unhelpful tradition to the contrary, to pray in a state of discomfort.
- Time. Although there will be some variations because of the complex lives we lead, we should adopt a framework of prayer from which we can, if necessary depart. Most of us will want to pray in the morning and the evening. Again, we should be specific with those who share our time so that our clear requirements are negotiated. It is important to be sensitive to the way our need for quiet prayer fits into a family routine; we won't be thanked for fixing a time to pray which appears to let us off house work!
- Most of our prayer will be in a set place in our home but there is occasion for a set period of prayer in the middle of the day when we might be at work or elsewhere. Rather than praying ad hoc (particularly if the prayer is triggered by a minor crisis) it is best to give ourselves a few minutes - for example during the lunch break - consisting of a little silence and a little formal prayer.
- Posture. Comfort and posture are extremely important. Find a chair that supports your back so that you do not slouch; ideally, your head should be balanced on your shoulders so that its weight is supported by your spinal column, allowing you to keep a straight back without the need to bring this about consciously.
2. Content
As we have often noted, the essence of what we do should be its proper balance. Most of us will want to establish a blend of three elements:
- Silent prayer;
- Scripture;
- Formal prayers.
We might want to think of these as the contemplation of the beloved, the history of our love and the celebration of it in poetry and prose.
There are a wide variety of prayer books and scripture reading cycles; we should work out what is appropriate according to the time we have. Some people adopt the formal structures of Morning, Evening and Night Prayer as set out by the Church of England both in traditional and contemporary language, inserting Lectionary readings and this is a good starting point, in full or edited, until we have the confidence to edit for our own purposes.
3. Process
Although we might move between different machines and stimuli in different order every time we make a visit to the gym, most of us will find that we fall into a routine, not least because, for example, it is logical to take a dip in a pool after vigourous exercise rather than before it; and we usually start with the more simple and less demanding and then work our way through to the more demanding and more complex.
The following process, then, is by no means absolute but it is so commonly practised that it has the virtue of being tried and tested:
- Assemble all the materials for the period of prayer;
- Sit carefully and allow for a few minutes of silence in the ante chamber to prayer; for some of us this few minutes will be enough to rid us of distractions but for others it will not; don't worry. For most of us it is better not to try to 'fight off' distractions; let them work their way through from full flow to a trickle. For most of us they will never completely stop. There will always be some 'interference';
- Use a formal structure of written prayers and Scripture;
- Either:
- Enter a period of silent prayer followed by personal prayers; or
- Say personal prayers followed by a period of silence;
- End with a formal or extempore prayer bringing a proper close to the communications.
The balance of these elements may depend upon the time of day: most of us will want to use our morning prayer to acknowledge God above all else and to fit ourselves to do his will in the course of the day whereas we will probably need time in the evening to examine how well we have done. If this is so, then we are likely to have a much longer period of silencer in the evening than the morning.
4. Silent Prayer
As has already been indicated, this may either precede or succeed our own personal prayers. The choice largely depends upon whether we want to use the silent time for self examination before we articulate our own prayers or whether we want to articulate our prayers as a precondition to shutting out the world.
As a general rule, the more practised we are in prayer the less time we need in formal prayer and scripture reading before our minds are as at rest as they reasonably can be from external distractions. There are, however, no set rules. If we find that we are subject to constant interruption by the world outside, we might spend more time at the beginning in the ante chamber; but sometimes the world outside needs to be confronted in our silent prayer; sometimes there are issues that cannot and should not be denied because, as we have noted earlier, self examination is an integral part of praying
Some people find it helpful to contemplate a picture or hold a physical object in their hand, others want to drain all earthly sensation.
The first approach - contemplation, uses the object of fixation to help us to put the world outside its 'frame' and to clear spiritual ground. We are not 'paying to' the object but praying with its assistance, just as we might read more easily with a magnifying glass or hear more clearly with a hearing aid.
The second approach - meditation - demands a degree of perseverance of which most of us are not capable and we should therefore not expect 'results' unless we have applied ourselves to the task with great care over a long period. To begin with, we can try to use a short prayer and repeat it until we achieve a degree of tranquility; if we get this far we will have done well. The objective is to establish such a state of tranquility that the Spirit within us brings our love of God to the surface, so that we become aware of it and can therefore communicate it. Here the language is very difficult as some people think of this kind of meditation as going 'into' themselves but if we think that the Holy Spirit is our core, it might help to think of that presence being brought towards our human surface. Simultaneously such a state will allow us to be open to God's communication with us
As we draw to a close, this is a good time to remind ourselves of some of the things we have been saying throughout the course, relating them to silent prayer:
- First, we are involved in communicating with God; that we can do so is a mystery and, therefore, we are bound to face difficulties; but praying in the mystery of the Creator is our purpose as creatures
- Secondly, no matter what difficulties we face, we have been told by Jesus that we will always be given the resources we need; to help us concentrate it might be helpful to think of the Holy Spirit not outside us but within us
- Thirdly, even with such support, any 'success' we have is bound to be partial; we might think of our image of transmitting and receiving information. Our transmission, following self examination, is easy enough because God knows our 'thoughts' but our reception of God's self communication will be like listening to an old fashioned radio transmission that get stronger and weaker, sometimes disappearing altogether so that we can only hear the shape of the words but not what is being said while other stations are creating interference
- Fourthly, however, the extent to which we receive and understand the communication depends upon our experience and concentration
- Finally, this steady, methodical process of silent prayer is not to be considered as a necessary precondition to experiencing something amazing. For most of us, silent prayer will be hard work and it will frequently be unrewarding; but we must persevere in the way that we should in trying our best to hear and please our beloved. If God wills and if we, by practice and mode of life, leave ourselves open to god, then we may experience sensations which we could describe as illuminating or numinous in our own homes similar to what we experience during the performance of a great piece of sacred music, in the course of a sermon which particularly moves us or when receiving Communion.
5. The Essence of Love
Praying to the beloved is remarkably similar to human loving:
- First, it starts with and continues to involve stringent self examination; anything that we say has to come from a self conscious and honest heart;
- Secondly, we are not in it for what we can get out of it; our purpose in love is not to be gratified by but to please the beloved;
- Thirdly, no lover will want to confine addresses to formal statements or reminiscence; love challenges us to reach out towards the ultimate in feeling and language;
- Finally, the great power of love is to go beyond the physical and the verbal but these are a necessary precondition to that blissful state of wordless wonder. We know its possibility and our longing for it is so great that we should be prepared to go to great lengths to experience it.
And when we do, we will know the meaning of love.
6. Questions & Exercises
- Compare the relationship with God with a relationship with the beloved;
- Share resources such as prayer books and Scripture reading cycles;
- Discuss the challenges and rewards of silent prayer;
- Share your experience of the numinous;
- Evaluate the course.